Is he really busy or just not that into you?

Me: hey Wyd 

*3 hours later*

Him: hey what's up?

Me: nothing now, I just wanted to talk to you 

Him: oh sorry I was busy

Me: it's ok, I understand 

*left on read*

Next day...

.....me: so when can I see you?

*2 hours later*

Him: um idk, I'll let you know I got a meeting today and some other stuff

*meanwhile he's on Twitter*

Y'all...I had this conversation for months. MONTHS! With a guy...and I can't believe I put up with it. (The purpose of this blog was to help y'all learn from my mistakes. Don't be like Ke'Andra. Ke'Andra settled. Ke'Andra almost forgot who tf she was. But Ke'Andra is back now. She's a boss.)  I used to wonder if he was really busy or just not that into me? I am busy. I have like 4 jobs, plus blogging, YouTube, volunteering, and trying to build my brand, and relationship with God. I stand by the phrase people make time for what they want, but at The same time, we wasn't together so he technically didn't owe me anything, so why trip? One thing about him is that he always did the bare minimum. I would get fed up and tell him I was gonna leave him alone and all of a sudden he was had feelings and was a poet and said all the right things. I always fell for that, 1. Because I dropped my hoes for him and ain't have a back up plan and 2. Because I'm a communicator and for the first time we was communicating correctly and it was nice. But through it all I just couldn't take it anymore. It wasn't fair to me that I saw girls getting treated like queens that didn't deserve it. All my friends were getting engaged and married and at 22 (him being 24+) I was still waiting on texts  back. Like really. (Do you not see me? I'm cute. Dms popping serverly, and I was ignoring them for someone who was ignoring me) so after months of trial and error I decided to go on this spiritual journey. I gave up Twitter and ig for over month and I got my shit together. I told him that I forgave him. (That was probably the hardest thing ever bc I truly felt that he wasn't sorry, or considerate of my feelings like he claimed but me forgiving him wasn't for him it was for me.) so time goes by and I'm MIA and I feel like I'm ready to get back in the game. Keep in mind I talked to dude for months, and I hated the starting over phase. I didn't want to make the same mistakes with another guy, that I did with him. I did something I still regret till this day. I've never in my life felt so weak. I asked him why I wasn't good enough for him. Till this day I still haven't gotten an answer. He said he wanted to call me so he could properly say everything he needed to say and couldn't say it in texts. Let me tell y'all how these talks usually went. He would start off by telling me how great of a person I am and how he's just busy, and that he liked me but he just got stuff going on, etc.🙄 The fact that he put my feelings at an halt until HE has time to "talk to me"...(Meanwhile this dude still on Twitter and I've yet to receive a call) showed me everything I needed to know. Just because you look good and guys compliment you doesn't mean they want you. Sometimes you're just there to say they got you. Nobody worth being with will treat you like an option or after thought. We have to stop falling for the "I'm busy" excuse. I talked to dude for almost a year, and I couldn't tell you what he did for a living. I knew he was in school and that was about it. So please tell me what he was busy doing? Lol he never did. I never really asked either because after a while I didn't care. I didn't believe he was busy. And y'all know I'm FBI certified so I'm positive he didn't have a girlfriend. Maybe some side hoes but that's about it. But what really kind of made me wake up was the fact that every time I wanted to leave him alone I would finally see the guy I was trying to change him into. And in my mind, if you really like me and I'm amazing like you say, why would you treat me this way? Dude was very smart, but this was dumb. Don't be dumb ladies. Wake up. Be woke. Black women lives matter. Allat. Lol In conclusion idk if he was really busy or not, I just decided to make the choice for him. I didn't deserve that kind of neglect. I hope he never calls tbh. Idc anymore. Lol

Love Yourself

Learning to be happy by yourself is so important. I remember going through stuff and reaching out to friends and family and not getting a response. I remember lonely nights of crying myself to sleep. At the end of the day all you have is yourself and God. Recently I fell out of love with myself. I depended on a guy to show me my worth. He said all the right things but his actions never showed it, or he did the bare minimum. I accepted that. I accepted it because I didn't want to be AS lonely...but I still was. At night, when I woke up, when I hung out with friends, when I was with family, at the end of the day all I had was myself. I then realized that no one has my back like me. The only person that's always there is me. You have to become your own bestfriend. I treat myself to trips and shopping sprees. I spoil myself, that way I don't look to others to do it. If I found someone else to do so, it would only be a plus. I take pride in being independent. When I talk to guys that's one thing they always say they admire about me. Im a communicator, but I always say that I'm a loner, not in a bad way, but I appreciate alone time. I get my best thinking and planning done. I let God show me things that are meant for me and me only. I can't tell you how many talks I've had about my purpose and goals and how many people shut them down, because they don't get it. Which is cool, it's not their vision to see. It's ok to be selfish sometimes. One thing about me is that I always try to help others, but I make sure I'm good first. At the end of the day I work hard, and have the same 24 hours as everyone else. There's only so much you can do for  others. They have to want to help themselves. It starts with Loving yourself enough to know that a certain person isn't for you, or that you're limiting yourself by settling for this job, or that you aren't using your God given talents. You gotta take care of yourself sometimes in order to help others. I'm a work in progress so I don't mind sharing my experiences and bad decisions to help others, because I'm aware of my problem and I'm willing to fix it. At the end of the day I love myself enough to know that I need to change so I can help other people. And when you accept it, and work on being happy, suddenly certain things don't bother you. I remember being so indulged into myself that I was selfish with myself. I didn't just talk to anybody. You had to prove yourself to me. It's ok to have standards cause at the end of the day you have to deal with the reprocautions of your decisions, which is why loving yourself is important. Know your worth, don't settle for less, and understand when enough is enough. You choose to be happy. 

Single people shouldn't give relationship advice?

I'm going to hop right into it! I hear people say all the time that you shouldn't take advice from single people. Why not? I'm usually the single friend and I give great advice. You know why? Because when the relationship fails and you call me crying, guess who is thinking "I told you so?" ME. Lol and I know that's not nice or what you'd want to hear at that moment but just because someone isn't in a relationship doesn't mean you should just ignore what they have to say. I'm going to tell you why single people are the PERFECT people to go to for advice.

1. If anything we can tell you what not to do so you don't end up single like us! Lol

I've made so many mistakes that I would never want another person to go through. Why not listen to someone who's experienced something you may be going through? You could avoid a possible heartbreak if you would just listen. I've done crazy things, and if you're my friend, then you're probably crazy too. Lol Let me help you by telling you not to stalk his social media and question every chick that pops up in his mentions😐

2. We aren't blind in love/like with your partner like you are.

We are the outside looking in, which means we see all of the signs you're missing. People in love tend to make excuses and accept being mistreated but others outside of the relationship see right through that. It's like when you complain about your partner to your family and friends, then you go back and wonder why we don't like them. Love is so blind. I've seen people get hurt over and over because they didn't listen. Don't let that be you.

3. Just because a person is single doesn't mean they aren't capable of having a relationship.

Some single people are waiting for their soulmate. Some people aren't settling. Speaking from personal experiences, after a while you get tired of being played. Why accept being played, when you're going to end up alone anyways? Just to say you have somebody? Why settle when you can build and work on yourself so that you can be the best you can be until you find the person God has for you? Being single gives you time to work on yourself. It's not always a bad thing, and I know a lot of single people who are happier than people in relationships.

All in all you don't have to do what someone says, however that doesn't mean you have to diss someone's opinion because of their relationship status. It's ok to be single. Single people give great advice too.

Interact with me!

Email: keandra_williams93@yahoo.com

Twitter, IG, & Snap Chat: Thats_KeAndra

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/keandrawilliams

If you're competing you already lost

When reading this at first you probably thought this applied to relationships, but if you're like me, you tried to find a deeper meaning. This quote could be easily applied to life. But let's start with relationships. Why are we knowingly competing for spots? I could understand if you're "talking" to someone and don't know that the other person is also talking to others, but I'm talking about when it's clear and in front of your face. Why do you want to be a side chick/ side dude? Why are "he know where home at" girls a thing? They sound so stupid. Why are people ok with being second best? Everyone knows that 2nd place is the first loser. You should be a priority. You shouldn't come second to nobody and damn sure shouldn't be competing. There are so many people in the world. Don't settle for being an option. But since you're competing, what's the prize? What are you winning? Someone who was indecisive, not monogamous, and will probably cheat on you anyway? Remember, you lose them how you get them. This isn't to discourage anyone. I may not know your situation, but think about it. Imagine someone loving you and putting just as much effort as you into you and ONLY YOU! Sounds nice right? I promise you God wouldn't do you  like that. Why would he make you compete for your partner, when everyone was created with one? Why would he allow you to feel second best when you're a child of a king thus always making you number one? Sometimes you really have to think if having somebody is really worth your integrity.

As far as life goes, realistically thinking, life is a competition, however if you have the mindset of the quote above it shouldn't matter. I'm a firm believer in claiming whatever it is that I want. With faith and prayer the outcomes are unimaginable. When I do anything in life I believe that I'm the best. Whether I come up short or not, I also believe everything happens for a reason. Nobody can steal what God has for me. Therefore there's no losing, you either win or learn a lesson. 

On a more personal level:

I don't compete for spots. When I feel like I'm not number one I fall back. My fall back game REAL strong lol and I'm not bragging. I've literally been Number one all my life. I'm the oldest of 5. I'm the oldest grandchild and great grandchild. I don't take well to being second. I'm not used to it. When it comes to guys, in my mind I'm the shit. And when they don't see it, it hurts my feelings so I fall back and transform my hurt and negative energy into something great. Of course they see me doing good and they try to come back. (Happens every time, THEY ALWAYS COME BACK) and its crazy because they wanted me to compete with other girls, their boys, their video games, and etc. and I put my foot down and said no. And in the end when they came back the ball was now in my court. I had the power to make the choice. It's so funny how the tables turn. In life, when I go to interviews I act as if I already got the job. If I don't know how to do anything else I know how to sell myself. Coming from someone who used to have insecurity issues, and used to "compete," that's a huge accomplishment for me. I take pride in my self confidence and independence. 

Moral of the story is don't lose yourself trying to please someone who has made you an option instead of a priority. If you have to compete for that person then they probably aren't for you. In life you're going to have to work hard for certain things, but claim it in advance and have faith and it'll all work out.

Interact with me!

Email: keandra_williams93@yahoo.com

Twitter, IG, & Snap Chat: Thats_KeAndra

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/keandrawilliams

Friendships shouldn't be exhausting

Omg. You guys...lol I saw this on Facebook and literally laughed out loud. I couldn't tell you how many friends I've lost by telling them things they didn't want to hear. I would get so mad because they wouldn't listen to me. I became that friend who got tired of repeating myself so in the end I would just say "do what makes you happy." Knowing damn well it wasn't going to end well and that I was going to be the one having to comfort them during their heart break and problems. I am very over protective of my friends. If a guy screws them over, they're going to hear from me. If a girl bumps them in a party, best believe they're getting bumped back, but at some point you can't keep saving your friends. You gotta sit back and look at the  situation. Did your friend provoke that person? Could this situation have all been avoided? Did you tell them not to do xyz and they did it anyway? If the answer to all these questions are yes, you have to let the situation be. Obviously they like drama and or expect you to keep saving them. If they don't listen to you, why waste your breath or time? Maybe they're just going to have to learn the hard way in order for them to get it. But then again maybe it's your approach. Think about it. If someone says "hey maybe you can do better, let's try this" versus "girl you stupid and he not even cute, please tell me you're not that dumb, he playing you." I probably wouldn't respond either. I've been told my approach isn't the best. I think I'm being honest, but it can come off insensitive. I've found myself holding my tongue on a lot of things, and I now realize that I can't help people with my approach because everyone won't be as receptive. I feel like with the right approach you can prevent built up frustration. Friendships shouldn't be exhausting. You should be happy for your friend and vice versa. And if you have to distance yourself then do so. At the end of the day you can say you tried your best to help and if they don't listen then it's not your problem. Or merely talk it out with that person. Tell them "hey I really don't want to hear about so and so, especially if you're going to keep going back" and if they're your friend they'll understand and respect your honesty. And if you're that friend that keeps going back to that no good person, stop dragging other people in your drama. Nobody should have to experience the results of your bad decisions. Be considerate of your friends and their feelings and understand that they actually care for you. But one day they're going to get fed up and you may lose a good friend. Is drama worth losing your friendship? The answer is no. A real friend isn't going to always tell you what you wanna hear, so get out your feelings and wake up.

Interact with me!

Email: keandra_williams93@yahoo.com

Twitter, IG, & Snap Chat: Thats_KeAndra

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/keandrawilliams

Don't fall in love with potential

Story time! I saw this post the other day and man did it hit home. I ALWAYS do this. I would meet a guy and he would tell me he's going to law or medical school and I would think to myself "ooh he ain't shit now but he gone be something in the future" so I would talk to him in hopes of changing him, not only so I can keep him around but because I'm controlling and wanted credit for changing him into a better man. Now ladies, this is where we mess up. We cannot change these men unless they want to change. And who's to say that if we do change them, that they won't up and leave us still anyway. There have been plenty times when I've changed a guy to be a better man to someone else. Excuse my language but that shit sucked and it hurt to see that. I always wondered why guys were so great in the beginning then once they got you, why they stopped doing what it took to get you. I honestly don't have an answer for that because I'm not a guy. I try to think what I would do if I was them. The only reason I would stop doing things I did in the beginning was if I got comfortable. I'd know that you were hooked and weren't going anywhere so maybe that's why I would stop? Idk. Personally I'm a natural giver. I never want the person I'm dealing with to feel neglected or upset so I try to be consistent in everything I do. Inconsistency is my BIGGEST pet peeve. Recently I had it out with a guy I was talking to. I'm a communicator, he is not. When I felt some type of way I would send him long paragraphs. I know guys hate this but I wanted him to know how I felt and how hurt I was. Can you believe that negro read it and didn't respond until a week later? And you what what he said? "What's good?" Ni*** WHATS GOOD? Are you kidding me? I can tell you what's not good! US ni***. US. It's safe to say that he got no reply and since then I've moved on. Moving on is hard, especially when you're prideful like me and hate when your time is wasted. I had to really have a long talk with God. I would tell God "yeah he's nice, but I like _____. Why can't you just make him act right for me?" And I realized that I was blocking my blessings. I think God would be like "ok I'll show her" and he'd let dude act right for like 3 days, and then let  him hurt me again. Time and time again he showed me I wasn't a priority. I thank God for teaching me that lesson because I learned to know my worth and to act as such. You shouldn't ignore the signs. If something bothers you then speak up and let them know. If they do it again, then they don't care. Prime example, the guy I mentioned earlier, I would always tell him " I hate when I don't hear from you for hours or even days, but I see you on Twitter" and his response would be "I don't like texting. Twitter not that serious" before popping off I tried to compromise, so I was like "well what about calls or FaceTime?" And he always had excuses about how he was busy and etc. (side note: while typing this out I realize how stupid I was. Please learn from my mistakes lol) needless to say I only heard from him when he wanted to contact me. He would have his read receipts on and read my messages and respond when he wanted. So rude and inconsiderate. But I allowed it so he continued to treat me like that. No amount of disrespect is worth saying you got somebody. Just like you got them, you can go get someone else. One thing I've learned from these situations (because I've had my share of fuckboys) was that people do to you what you allow. Stop replying. Block them from social media. Change your hair. Post nice selfies. They always come back with the "hey stranger" "why you don't hmu no more" texts or in my case " what's good?" And if you're petty like me, that's satisfaction enough and those texts don't need a response because your work is done 😊 don't be blinded by the potential of someone. Act based on their actions, but be cautious along the way as well.

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Email: keandra_williams93@yahoo.com

Twitter, IG, & Snap Chat: Thats_KeAndra

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/keandrawilliams

Things I wish I did in college before graduating...

As a recent graduate of college I found out quickly that maybe I wasn't as prepared for the real world as I thought. People tell me all the time how they can't wait to graduate and etc. but I'd give anything right now to have a assignments due rather than working full time at a place that has nothing to do with my degree, just to pay the bills. I realized that in college I could've done so much more. If you're still in college here are some of the things I wish I did. Please learn from my mistakes lol

1. Join clubs related to my major

This is common sense. I knew better. I was a mass communication major. I was literally in every org but the one for my degree. I usually stuck to majority black clubs. Not saying anything was wrong with supporting my people but the real world isn't like that. My excuse was "mass communication students are weird" which is true. We are. When dealing with mass communication students you get every aspect of it. You get film, directing, broadcasting, journalists...all things artsy, and students who were truly passionate about it. Then you have people like me who just likes to talk and be seen and wants to be famous lol By not being in these degree related orgs I missed out on networking opportunities, experience , and fun trips. If I could do college over that's definitely something I make myself join, to better help me in the future.

2. Avoid distractions 

Boys were a huge distraction for me. Had  the biggest heartbreak in college. That boy made me lose focus for a whole semester. I thank God I didn't fail any classes that year but my grades could have definitely been better. Also trying to be at any and every scene. You ever see those people at every party, no matter what day it is, and think to yourself "do they not have homework or tests to study for?" 9 times out of 10 they do, and are failing or they not even enrolled. You don't have to be at every party. Popularity doesn't pay tuition and you can't get a degree in it. It's always the same people, with the same music, in the same forever 21 outfits. There's always going to be parties, but make sure your priorities are in order, before you throw ass.

3. Creating relationships with professors 

Till this day...after 4 1/2 years of college I only have a relationship with one professor. She's seriously the sweetest person ever. Its sad that I didn't realize how important it was to have these relationships until it was too late. If you ever need a recommendation letter or job opportunity these people can help you, so it's important to keep them around. Seriously every time I need a letter of recommendation I ask her but I feel bad sometimes because in ALWAYS asking her. I should've developed other relationships with my other teachers so I could have a variety of opportunities.

4. Build my brand

I've had my blog and YouTube channel for like 2 years now. If I was consistent my following would be higher. I would probably be better at it, and probably would've expanded it into a business sooner. It's makes no sense how I have such a large following on Twitter and IG yet some people don't even know I blog and etc. this is my fault. I was so into twitter and trolling because people thought that I was funny, when I could've been using my platform to promote my brand. Now I'm just known for being that funny short girl. Which is ok, but I'm smart too you guys lol I have a degree. I want to change the world. I want to help as many people as I can. I aspire to inspire and with you all support I promise not to let you down.

5. Save money

All those years of getting refunds I never thought to actually save money. I was getting thousands of dollars and wasting it on bundles and clothes when I could've invested it in myself and brand, traveled the world for networking, or just had something to fall back on if I couldn't find a job right away after college. Now I'm stuck working at a job I hate because it pays my bills. Now I have to wait on income tax like regular adults but even then I still have bills and student loans to pay. Speaking of student loans, if you don't need them, don't get them. I know the thousands of dollars are so tempting but think about the future. Do you really wanna spend he rest of your life paying loans back? Especially if your major doesn't guarantee a job. If you can, start paying them back while you're in school.

Hopefully you will take these things into consideration. Learn from my mistakes and keep me in your prayers lol

Interact with me!

Email: keandra_williams93@yahoo.com

Twitter, IG, & Snap Chat: Thats_KeAndra

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/keandrawilliams