Story time! I saw this post the other day and man did it hit home. I ALWAYS do this. I would meet a guy and he would tell me he's going to law or medical school and I would think to myself "ooh he ain't shit now but he gone be something in the future" so I would talk to him in hopes of changing him, not only so I can keep him around but because I'm controlling and wanted credit for changing him into a better man. Now ladies, this is where we mess up. We cannot change these men unless they want to change. And who's to say that if we do change them, that they won't up and leave us still anyway. There have been plenty times when I've changed a guy to be a better man to someone else. Excuse my language but that shit sucked and it hurt to see that. I always wondered why guys were so great in the beginning then once they got you, why they stopped doing what it took to get you. I honestly don't have an answer for that because I'm not a guy. I try to think what I would do if I was them. The only reason I would stop doing things I did in the beginning was if I got comfortable. I'd know that you were hooked and weren't going anywhere so maybe that's why I would stop? Idk. Personally I'm a natural giver. I never want the person I'm dealing with to feel neglected or upset so I try to be consistent in everything I do. Inconsistency is my BIGGEST pet peeve. Recently I had it out with a guy I was talking to. I'm a communicator, he is not. When I felt some type of way I would send him long paragraphs. I know guys hate this but I wanted him to know how I felt and how hurt I was. Can you believe that negro read it and didn't respond until a week later? And you what what he said? "What's good?" Ni*** WHATS GOOD? Are you kidding me? I can tell you what's not good! US ni***. US. It's safe to say that he got no reply and since then I've moved on. Moving on is hard, especially when you're prideful like me and hate when your time is wasted. I had to really have a long talk with God. I would tell God "yeah he's nice, but I like _____. Why can't you just make him act right for me?" And I realized that I was blocking my blessings. I think God would be like "ok I'll show her" and he'd let dude act right for like 3 days, and then let him hurt me again. Time and time again he showed me I wasn't a priority. I thank God for teaching me that lesson because I learned to know my worth and to act as such. You shouldn't ignore the signs. If something bothers you then speak up and let them know. If they do it again, then they don't care. Prime example, the guy I mentioned earlier, I would always tell him " I hate when I don't hear from you for hours or even days, but I see you on Twitter" and his response would be "I don't like texting. Twitter not that serious" before popping off I tried to compromise, so I was like "well what about calls or FaceTime?" And he always had excuses about how he was busy and etc. (side note: while typing this out I realize how stupid I was. Please learn from my mistakes lol) needless to say I only heard from him when he wanted to contact me. He would have his read receipts on and read my messages and respond when he wanted. So rude and inconsiderate. But I allowed it so he continued to treat me like that. No amount of disrespect is worth saying you got somebody. Just like you got them, you can go get someone else. One thing I've learned from these situations (because I've had my share of fuckboys) was that people do to you what you allow. Stop replying. Block them from social media. Change your hair. Post nice selfies. They always come back with the "hey stranger" "why you don't hmu no more" texts or in my case " what's good?" And if you're petty like me, that's satisfaction enough and those texts don't need a response because your work is done 😊 don't be blinded by the potential of someone. Act based on their actions, but be cautious along the way as well.
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Email: keandra_williams93@yahoo.com
Twitter, IG, & Snap Chat: Thats_KeAndra
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