Ke'Andra rant #1

Lately I've just been feeling so sad. I felt like for the past month I've been being punished for something, but I didn't know what. I've done a lot of soul searching lately. The biggest lesson I learned recently was to appreciate everything you have. It's true what they say about you never really appreciate something until it's gone. My grandpa did so much for me and now he's on his death bed. I didn't have the newest car but after my wreck I had to depend on friends and family and anyone who knows me knows I'm very prideful. I had two jobs that I complained about faithfully everyday, and now I have one and can barely get by. I'm so ungrateful I admit it. I don't deserve the many blessings coming my way and I've told God I was sorry. Im striving to be a better person.

One of my biggest problems is wanting to be liked. I don't want enemies because I hate awkward situations and when people don't like me and I've literally done nothing to them it would bother me. I had to realize everyone isn't going to like you. In fact if everyone likes you then you're most likely not being 100 with everyone. And Just because someone doesn't fw you it doesn't mean that there's automatic beef. I don't beef with people I simply just ignore and don't care. We can be within 3 inches of each other and I will act like no one is there. Either we handle it like adults or you're nothing to me. If we're in a setting I will talk to everybody but you. Lol as petty as that sounds, I feel like I give everyone chances and if you mess that up then you're done. People will hate you even when you're doing right. There's nothing you can do about that but to just keep being great. Let go and let God and it'll all fall in place.

 As far as relationships go I'm so tired of people telling me my standards are too high or that I'm too independent and that's why I'm single because boys like to feel needed. That's exactly it, BOYS like to feel needed. I feel that a man will respect my grind and will still provide, knowing that if he ever slipped up that I got us. The main people telling me these things are people is dysfunctional relationships, sidelines, situationships, etc. And it's become so common and we use social media to justify these behaviors. What God has for you, you won't have to chase. There's been times where I would go after guys and try to change them into the man I wanted them to be then wonder why it didn't work out. The person meant for you won't have to change, because they were made for you. I rather be respected, then in a realtionship with someone who's not even faithful just to fill a void because I'm lonely. Half of my friends in relationships don't even seem happy, they're just comfortable. That's just an extra headache I don't need right now.

I feel like more than anything, especially being a college student but that people should focus on God and success. It's not about a popularity contest, or whoever gets the most RTs or likes, it's about living a successful life. I feel like that starts with an healthy relationship with God. I'm in no way a perfect Christian, but my faith is strong. I know where my blessings come from. I meet people all the time that aren't sure about their faith or that God is listening and honestly it just might take them to actually go through something and have God bring them out of it for them to "get it." God is amazing. All there is, had to have came from a higher being than man, and if not God then who? That question in no way justifies my God, but really think about it. It's amazing. Life's amazing. I really recommend prayer. Pray as much as you want. God is always there to listen. I promise you, THERE IS NOTHING I HAVENT PRAYED FOR THAT I HAVENT EVENTUALLY GOTTEN. And that's real. I may not have always gotten what I wanted, but everything I need, I have. It may not have came on my timing, but God's timing is always perfect timing. 

But if you made it this far to the end of this post I hope you took something from it. Most won't. Its not for everybody...just one of my rants. Thanks for reading anyway:)!